Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize