You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
