I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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