Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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