You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize