this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
