great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
