just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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