Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
