he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need water and some morals
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
