Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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