Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
