We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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