dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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