He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
