Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
