I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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