a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize