so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
