Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
