I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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