I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
