Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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