Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
