and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize