Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
