Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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