God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
