I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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