maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
