better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize