when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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