is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
