ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
this hospital has no fireball
how drunk are you?
Several
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
