I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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