Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
