ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
