You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
