Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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