What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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