I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Say something about gay babies.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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