Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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