p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
