omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
