I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
