He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
