so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize