I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
