He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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