Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
