I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
