Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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