His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
