I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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