I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
3pm strippers are depressing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
