finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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