you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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