can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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