He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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