i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize