I'm gonna have a badass scar
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize