I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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