i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
