Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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