Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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