I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
