I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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