Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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