I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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