Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
