It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize