Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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