Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
