so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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