i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Houston, we have a squirter
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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