I'm eating all of the evidence.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
