Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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