did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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