Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
