just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
