were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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