After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
