how can u be prego again
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize