I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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