You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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