I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
