You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
