Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
